Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Scrapin' my face on the sky

I'm looking forward to Introduction to Psychology more than Intermediate Algebra, which only makes me feel like a smug jerk, but I'm glad just because I'm excited about school instead of anxious for a change. July 7th.

For about a year, at least, my good friend Jonathan has been working at Lowe's, and talking about going for his Master's degree. His main problem is the GRE- the Graduate Record Examination. He hasn't gotten good enough scores to be accepted into a graduate program at the schools he was looking into, and I think without serious study (which I highly doubt he'd commit to), he probably won't get an 1100 or 1150 or whatever it was. It looked to me like he'd be working at Lowe's forever, stuck in limbo. He has a Bachelor's of History, but without a teaching degree, he can't do much with it. Because he didn't get into a graduate program in the fall after he graduated with his Bachelor's, Jon's options were to work as he does now, do volunteer work at state parks, or take a job as a border guard in Arizona-- he almost did that, until we told him about the crazy drug war going on. Some of that was to build on for his eventual aim at working the higher levels of the national parks, but his options are limited by his formal education level, which is the reason behind his drive for a Master's.

The last time I spoke with Adam about his plans, it amounted to sticking around Ypsi. In the next year or two, he should be done with his Bachelor's, but things are a little more difficult than just graduating and finding a job. His fiancee, Courtney, is on the wait-list for the nursing program at Washtenaw Community College. She has a four-year degree already (Women's Studies), but it's because of MET (Michigan Educational Trust) obligations and the fact that Eastern's nursing program wait-list was a year longer than Washtenaw's. That's not saying much, since WCC's is a year itself, and Courtney only graduated this spring. She'll have her spot on the list as long as she's taking classes there, and she's been doing that almost immediately since she left EMU. Still, that means the earliest she can enter program will be Summer 2010, by which Adam should have already graduated.

This is where it starts tying together. Adam is planning on going to Eastern for his Master's right after his Bachelor's is done. He has his own problems with standardized tests, so I mentioned the GRE issue. He was afraid of that too, but after looking through the graduate programs there, he discovered something very interesting- EMU has a graduate Art program that doesn't require any standardized test scores.

I've looked into it, and Eastern offers two types of Master's degrees. The first is your run-of-the-mill graduate program with typical thesis-prep classes. The other is a virtually identical program, but without a thesis requirement or thesis preparation credits. The thesis-based degrees DO require a GRE score (1150 in EMU's case), while the cognate programs (those were the credited classes in place of thesis-prep) do not. Why even bother with the thesis program then? The greatest difference lies in the answer to that question. The cognate program, while not requiring a test score for admittance, removes the option to go on to a doctoral program. That path lies in the thesis degree.

Jonathan, a day or so after I told him about this program, said "I'm going to Eastern." When I asked when, he told me either January, or next fall. That means three of my closest friends are going to be there in a couple years from now...

Which means I'm probably going back to Eastern to finish out my Bachelor's. Not now, of course. I'm still sticking with my OCC plan. But when that's done, and they're all out in Ypsilanti, and I have to choose between OU and EMU? I'm going back. I can't pass up an opportunity like this, it'll never happen again. It's exciting, I wish it were sooner.

In the meantime, I've been trying to map out my time left at OCC. When I did that, it seemed like tons of required classes disappeared, but I guess there weren't that many. I had a harder time thinking of what to spend 17 credits of electives on. That's 5-6 classes. And if they're not general education stuff, they'll be harder to come by in the summer. The way it all came out was that my Fall and Winter semesters will be mostly electives. Hey, that's fine by me! I did it all in a spreadsheet, too, I feel like a dork. But it's a gameplan, and it looks very doable.

A lot of my electives are actually dedicated to Psychology classes. If I get a B or better (and I absolutely should) in my Intro to Psych class this summer, I am planning on taking Experimental Psychology in the Fall. "In a labratory setting, the student will conduct experiments in operant conditioning, learning, psychophysics, perception, motivation, and emotion." Doesn't that sound fun?! The other three I'm looking at are Psychology of Coping, Psychology of Organizational Behavior, and Abnormal Psychology.

In one of those other posts, I wrote about how I love psychology and philosophy. It's more like thought. I love thought. After Experimental Psych, I'll be taking Intro to Logic in the Winter semester. It's a philosophy course, rather than psych, but out of the four philosophy classes OCC offers, it's the most interesting, and as I see it, the most practical. Basically the study of argument, formal and casual. I can't wait.

I'm only taking four Psych classes, and Logic counts as a required Humanities class, so I needed at least three more credits to graduate. So Fall 2010/Winter 2011, I'll be auditioning for Concert Band. Two credits a semester. I should be able to make it in.

Unofficially, I'm off my meds. The place I went to filed bankruptcy, but my therapist is renting part of what they left (the rooms, that is), and I still see her, but not my psychiatrist, which is kind of the important part. I'm saving a couple weeks' worth of pills in case I can't get a new appointment with the psychiatrist (and therefore a refill on my RX) before I start my classes again. I realized that not being on this stuff was what I felt, after ruling out lack of sleep, lack of food, and lack of exercise (when you start to pace like I do, it counts).

It's taken me over a day to write this, and I'm glad to finally be done with it.

Sean

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Mrm

Last night of US History from the Revolution to the Civil War Era!

s'been a busy few days. Monday, went to the water park, had a blast, only got lightly sunburned! Burned enough to be noticeable, but not enough for gross peeling, so hurray. I think Tuesday was just more class, but yesterday I went down and spent time with my dad. We were at the cafeteria at Henry Ford CC after finding out the study rooms in the library were all taken, but it was just as good. Played Magic for the first time in a long time, and got to share some ideas, which was cool too.

Later, I decided to go to this seminar thing with Dad and Heather, and their priest Fr. Phil showed up too to see what it was all about. It was an economics thing, basically, and a lot of it I knew already from my high school Personal Econ. class. Of course, as soon as I opened my mouth and said that, Fr. Phil said he wished he'd had something like that in high school. After pulling my foot out of my mouth, I realized it was a much more helpful series to people in that position, those having never had a real economics class, though it didn't come up again, so I didn't say anything else =/

When I started this, I had yet to go to class, but as of this sentence, I've come home from it. I got an A! Woo! It turns out I didn't even have to do the extra credit stuff. Tonight, instead of an exam, we did this game show thing where we were divided into four groups. Each group had six answers that they had to turn into questions for the other teams. We played four rounds, and each question was a certain number of points which rose each round. Interestingly, one of my groups answers was "Church of England", and our "question" was "The leader of this was the Archbishop of Canterbury." I didn't like the way our questions were written, but in the end, we won. The winning group got their overall grade bumped up by one step. If I hadn't done the extra credit, I'd have gotten an A-, then an A with the win, but that doesn't change anything really, because I had no idea this was going to happen, or that I would win.

One of my extra credit bits was going to the Holocaust museum. It started out being about Jewish culture, which I'm glad I saw, since it reminded me of things I found interesting and forgot when the newest interesting thing came around (more to illustrate that I have goldfish-like memory than to say it wasn't a priority). But in reading all of that, I forgot until I heard Adolf Hilter's voice that it was the HOLOCAUST museum, and I spent the rest of the time following all that history after lighter thoughts like "Hey, neat, Yiddish looks like German!"

I've been doing some more reading, and I read across some cool terms like "mental space" and "idealized cognitive construct." Cognitive linguistics or cognitive science looks a little more fascinating to me every time I think or read about it. I hope things work out to where I want/am able to do something in that field in a few years.

It is way too hot outside for nonsense, yet I still plan on going to kickball... Maybe I'll wake up earlier and switch the AC on. I know the dog would appreciate it.

Sean

Monday, June 22, 2009

Rmmmrmrmrrnnnhhhh

^My grumbling noise.

I sound like an asshole even to myself. I sort of have this rant in mind which makes me sound like a weird, double-misanthrope with a saintly siamese twin. It's long and selfish and boring, though, and I have to keep reminding myself what this blog is for.

I have two more sessions of my history class, Tuesday and Thursday. I know as much about the Civil War as I think I can in this course. I *am* going to get an A, though, I know it. I ended up missing five points on that quiz I didn't read for, so at the most, I'll have 95% of my regular credit. However, we get extra credit for visiting the supplemental instructor before or after class, and I've maxed out on those points. He was unclear on how much that was, so I either have an extra 3% or 6%. I don't know that I'm eligible for more extra credit either, so I'm going to e-mail the prof (extra credit for that, too!), and if I am, I'm going to hit up the free-entry Holocaust museum situated just north school. I *will* have an A.

Going to Ypsi tomorrow/today/in about four hours. Adam, Courtney, our friend Ali, and possibly their friend Katie were going to a waterpark, and I've been invited. I really hope I'm allowed to wear a gray shirt, as I have no white, and I'm feeling particularly fat as of late. I also have to find some sun screen to protect my unearthly near-fluorescence.

My upcoming classes don't start til July 7th. What am I gonna do with myself for two weeks?

Sean

Monday, June 15, 2009

Not sleeping for a while, I think

I've been in a slump for a while. Things have been really weird lately, for everyone. Personally, I feel like a coward, having been asked a big favor which I never responded to, because I was afraid of the (likely) non-issue of legality. I tried to reply, but it was too late, and I feel kinda shitty.

I like concepts and ideas. That's why I was fiddling with the idea of cognitive linguistics, because it encompasses two things I enjoy, and is one of a few possible/logical steps in my schoolin'. I love philosophy and psychology, because the things people conceive astound me. Speech is just another facet, it's how we convey our thoughts and beliefs, and that's equally remarkable. The way you say something tells so much about yourself and people in general. The fact that the field of "cognitive linguistics" is fairly recent may have something to do with its allure as well >_>.

I love studying religion/spirituality too. My own, especially, but every single one has its interesting bits. It's pretty hard to share my "findings," though, because... everyone has their own ideas >_<. What I mean is, the number of people who think and say they're open-minded are quite at odds with the number of people who ARE. I'm mostly talking about my friends, who make me out to be a priest, when discussing religion, and Ronald Reagan's best friend, when talking politics. Well, my regular friends, in that specific case. In another circle of friends, I'm practically a left-wing militant. And the whole time, all of these people, left and right, are ignoring questions I'm asking or points I'm making, mostly by going on to the next concept, or just shrugging it all off. That is not open-minded. It's lazy, and honestly? It's inconsiderate, too. Frustrating...

My friends in Ypsi have impressed upon me some fun thoughts about gender stuff too. Like the difference being a man and being male. The answer is societal expectation, basically. Like, to be a man, I have to be physically and emotionally strong, maybe even dominant, however the situation is rendered. I'd have to be the bread winner, I'd have to put a roof over the family's head, take all the responsibility, be assertive and ambitious, because I'm the heterosexual MAN. Alright, so meeting a woman (or female, if you so choose... I prefer woman) physically stronger than me would be weird, but emotionally? Hell yeah, count me in, I'm a wreck. As for all the other stuff, I would not mind in the least being the stay-at-home parent while my wife brings home the bacon. So it may make me less of a "man", but being a man doesn't really mean much... It's just a personality archtype, if it's anything at all. I'm still male. Neat ideas, in my opinion.

Religions and faiths of any kind are fun to mull around. But if you sincerely believe something, then question it constantly. Why is it worth keeping? Why is it the right one? In my opinion, if you don't push it, you stagnate. If all everyone ever does is reaffirm themselves, where's the growth? There should be push as well as pull, equal give and take, I think, for there to be real substance.

I bombed my last quiz in History because I didn't read. At the worst, I can pass the class with a 96, assuming I got 0/10 for that quiz (I think I got a few points, actually), that I read and get 10's for the next three, and don't do any more extra credit. I need to check out the Holocaust museum near campus...

Sean

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Christ, I'm a sidewinder.....

As of Tuesday, I'm halfway done with my history class. We were supposed to do this informal debate, but no one was really into it, and we ended up doing it exactly as history went. Totally lame. The point was to convince the teacher and the SI (supplemental instructor) that our side- whichever we were on, the British government, or the "rebels"- would win, and why. Each of us was assigned an historic figure who we had to use as the basis of our own argument, and I got Major General Benedict Arnold. It was still boring.

For the first time since I got it, I practiced on my "new" euphonium. That also made it the first time in three years that I played euph at all. Every once in a while, someone will ask me if I had, and it was always "No," and THAT was always "a shame." And it really is. But I went to dinner with my grandma Hannan Saturday night, and we got to talking about all that again, against what I was saying (I was talking about armed service, and my grandma leapt straight into the marine band, the President's Own), and I realized that while it may in fact BE a shame, I -have- missed playing. That night, I oiled the valves, greased the slides, and wiped all my fingerprints off so it would be ready to play the next day, and I played Sunday afternoon. I remember everything. My embouchure is dead, though. I feel like I'm back in junior high. But I want to play again.

It was in February or so that I was convinced I wanted to be an instrumental major. My friend, Dave Welling, who was a euphonium major, was my inspiration. In March or so was when grandma Haggard got my new horn for me. But by May, I realized I wouldn't be a "serious" performer for a few reasons. One, I HATE practicing. I can count the number of times I've practiced on my own on one hand, and two of those times was THIS WEEK. I like making music, and practicing is not that. The second was a realization. The concert band I was in was run by Mark Waymire, who is a cool guy by my standard. He told us the distinction between that band, which I think was Symphonic Band, and the hotshot "serious" class, Winds Symphony; Winds was challenging, was technical, was very "professional," while Symphonic Band was less so, but Winds trades out something to be such- nice sounds. Their music is all that and a bag of chips, but it's BORING. Waymire chose our pieces the way he did because they provided, in his words, "a visceral response." I thought about it, and I really felt (and still feel) I'm -that- kind of musician, and it's why I'd never be a "professional." I'm not saying I wanna be lazy and play easy, nice sounding things. I've played some difficult stuff that blew my mind. But I wanna do what Waymire said, I wanna perform something that evokes an emotional reaction in the audience, and primarily myself. Right now I'm gearing up to try and due a four or five piece version of Sally's Song from The Nightmare Before Christmas all on my euph. Most of it will be easy, but that and maybe other projects like it will be the only way to get me to play on my own, outside of an ensemble. I have great practice books, but they sound like shit! Besides, I think my friends would really like my stuff.

There was one advantage to being in high school band, and that was freedom. I could pick up any instrument, and if it even LOOKED like I could play it, I was tossed an instrument and a part, and I did it. It was great! In addition to euphonium, I played tuba (although I'm a little bitter about it, since I ended up playing it the most, even over my own instrument), french horn for a whole semester, where I got my first ever solo, and I even picked up trombone and trumpet along the way. I knew, to some degree, every major brass instrument. I'd love to do more of that, but now, it's a matter of having access to the instruments, and again, the capacity to make music, rather than just practice. I wouldn't mind learning some woodwinds, either.

If I get can my mouth back in shape, I was thinking of looking at OCC's band for the major semesters, perhaps. We'll see, though. I need to do that dreaded thing to get there, first. AND I need to do actual work for school before I can start screwing aroung with my electives. Band is a murky-looking prospect.

I've spent almost two entire days in Ypsilanti. I was out in Ann Arbor yesterday morning for an ultrasound, which I think went okay, since the technician didn't exclaim anything too ominous, and then I came straight to my friends Adam Courtney. At 9 in the morning. They were so glad to see me that early, I can't even accurately describe their reaction. We hung out all day, Adam, Courtney, Ali, and I, and we went bowling! I was so proud of myself because I did so well for not playing in at least three years. I got 169 and 130, and I got a double both games, only to get 9 each time on the third toss, and going on to pick up both spares. I was annoyed, but glad I was able to get any marks at all. My goal was to break 100.

Right now, I'm actually on campus at EMU, typing in the gallery Adam works in at the student center. The gallery's theme is comics, which is really cool, and every artist in here is from Michigan. Two are even EMU alumni. One has a comic called Mouseguard, or whatever they spelled it, which is a fantasy adventure thing, starring mice. Visually, it's great, and thematically, it appeals to me. Their dragons are owls, and that makes me happy.

Oi, dad, if you're reading this, I want the pictures we took while I was down there.

Sean