Christ, I'm a sidewinder.....

As of Tuesday, I'm halfway done with my history class. We were supposed to do this informal debate, but no one was really into it, and we ended up doing it exactly as history went. Totally lame. The point was to convince the teacher and the SI (supplemental instructor) that our side- whichever we were on, the British government, or the "rebels"- would win, and why. Each of us was assigned an historic figure who we had to use as the basis of our own argument, and I got Major General Benedict Arnold. It was still boring.

For the first time since I got it, I practiced on my "new" euphonium. That also made it the first time in three years that I played euph at all. Every once in a while, someone will ask me if I had, and it was always "No," and THAT was always "a shame." And it really is. But I went to dinner with my grandma Hannan Saturday night, and we got to talking about all that again, against what I was saying (I was talking about armed service, and my grandma leapt straight into the marine band, the President's Own), and I realized that while it may in fact BE a shame, I -have- missed playing. That night, I oiled the valves, greased the slides, and wiped all my fingerprints off so it would be ready to play the next day, and I played Sunday afternoon. I remember everything. My embouchure is dead, though. I feel like I'm back in junior high. But I want to play again.

It was in February or so that I was convinced I wanted to be an instrumental major. My friend, Dave Welling, who was a euphonium major, was my inspiration. In March or so was when grandma Haggard got my new horn for me. But by May, I realized I wouldn't be a "serious" performer for a few reasons. One, I HATE practicing. I can count the number of times I've practiced on my own on one hand, and two of those times was THIS WEEK. I like making music, and practicing is not that. The second was a realization. The concert band I was in was run by Mark Waymire, who is a cool guy by my standard. He told us the distinction between that band, which I think was Symphonic Band, and the hotshot "serious" class, Winds Symphony; Winds was challenging, was technical, was very "professional," while Symphonic Band was less so, but Winds trades out something to be such- nice sounds. Their music is all that and a bag of chips, but it's BORING. Waymire chose our pieces the way he did because they provided, in his words, "a visceral response." I thought about it, and I really felt (and still feel) I'm -that- kind of musician, and it's why I'd never be a "professional." I'm not saying I wanna be lazy and play easy, nice sounding things. I've played some difficult stuff that blew my mind. But I wanna do what Waymire said, I wanna perform something that evokes an emotional reaction in the audience, and primarily myself. Right now I'm gearing up to try and due a four or five piece version of Sally's Song from The Nightmare Before Christmas all on my euph. Most of it will be easy, but that and maybe other projects like it will be the only way to get me to play on my own, outside of an ensemble. I have great practice books, but they sound like shit! Besides, I think my friends would really like my stuff.

There was one advantage to being in high school band, and that was freedom. I could pick up any instrument, and if it even LOOKED like I could play it, I was tossed an instrument and a part, and I did it. It was great! In addition to euphonium, I played tuba (although I'm a little bitter about it, since I ended up playing it the most, even over my own instrument), french horn for a whole semester, where I got my first ever solo, and I even picked up trombone and trumpet along the way. I knew, to some degree, every major brass instrument. I'd love to do more of that, but now, it's a matter of having access to the instruments, and again, the capacity to make music, rather than just practice. I wouldn't mind learning some woodwinds, either.

If I get can my mouth back in shape, I was thinking of looking at OCC's band for the major semesters, perhaps. We'll see, though. I need to do that dreaded thing to get there, first. AND I need to do actual work for school before I can start screwing aroung with my electives. Band is a murky-looking prospect.

I've spent almost two entire days in Ypsilanti. I was out in Ann Arbor yesterday morning for an ultrasound, which I think went okay, since the technician didn't exclaim anything too ominous, and then I came straight to my friends Adam Courtney. At 9 in the morning. They were so glad to see me that early, I can't even accurately describe their reaction. We hung out all day, Adam, Courtney, Ali, and I, and we went bowling! I was so proud of myself because I did so well for not playing in at least three years. I got 169 and 130, and I got a double both games, only to get 9 each time on the third toss, and going on to pick up both spares. I was annoyed, but glad I was able to get any marks at all. My goal was to break 100.

Right now, I'm actually on campus at EMU, typing in the gallery Adam works in at the student center. The gallery's theme is comics, which is really cool, and every artist in here is from Michigan. Two are even EMU alumni. One has a comic called Mouseguard, or whatever they spelled it, which is a fantasy adventure thing, starring mice. Visually, it's great, and thematically, it appeals to me. Their dragons are owls, and that makes me happy.

Oi, dad, if you're reading this, I want the pictures we took while I was down there.

Sean