Not sleeping for a while, I think

I've been in a slump for a while. Things have been really weird lately, for everyone. Personally, I feel like a coward, having been asked a big favor which I never responded to, because I was afraid of the (likely) non-issue of legality. I tried to reply, but it was too late, and I feel kinda shitty.

I like concepts and ideas. That's why I was fiddling with the idea of cognitive linguistics, because it encompasses two things I enjoy, and is one of a few possible/logical steps in my schoolin'. I love philosophy and psychology, because the things people conceive astound me. Speech is just another facet, it's how we convey our thoughts and beliefs, and that's equally remarkable. The way you say something tells so much about yourself and people in general. The fact that the field of "cognitive linguistics" is fairly recent may have something to do with its allure as well >_>.

I love studying religion/spirituality too. My own, especially, but every single one has its interesting bits. It's pretty hard to share my "findings," though, because... everyone has their own ideas >_<. What I mean is, the number of people who think and say they're open-minded are quite at odds with the number of people who ARE. I'm mostly talking about my friends, who make me out to be a priest, when discussing religion, and Ronald Reagan's best friend, when talking politics. Well, my regular friends, in that specific case. In another circle of friends, I'm practically a left-wing militant. And the whole time, all of these people, left and right, are ignoring questions I'm asking or points I'm making, mostly by going on to the next concept, or just shrugging it all off. That is not open-minded. It's lazy, and honestly? It's inconsiderate, too. Frustrating...

My friends in Ypsi have impressed upon me some fun thoughts about gender stuff too. Like the difference being a man and being male. The answer is societal expectation, basically. Like, to be a man, I have to be physically and emotionally strong, maybe even dominant, however the situation is rendered. I'd have to be the bread winner, I'd have to put a roof over the family's head, take all the responsibility, be assertive and ambitious, because I'm the heterosexual MAN. Alright, so meeting a woman (or female, if you so choose... I prefer woman) physically stronger than me would be weird, but emotionally? Hell yeah, count me in, I'm a wreck. As for all the other stuff, I would not mind in the least being the stay-at-home parent while my wife brings home the bacon. So it may make me less of a "man", but being a man doesn't really mean much... It's just a personality archtype, if it's anything at all. I'm still male. Neat ideas, in my opinion.

Religions and faiths of any kind are fun to mull around. But if you sincerely believe something, then question it constantly. Why is it worth keeping? Why is it the right one? In my opinion, if you don't push it, you stagnate. If all everyone ever does is reaffirm themselves, where's the growth? There should be push as well as pull, equal give and take, I think, for there to be real substance.

I bombed my last quiz in History because I didn't read. At the worst, I can pass the class with a 96, assuming I got 0/10 for that quiz (I think I got a few points, actually), that I read and get 10's for the next three, and don't do any more extra credit. I need to check out the Holocaust museum near campus...

Sean